Christmas Blues? Think Again.

I wrote this piece a few years ago, but the sentiment has stood the test of time. It's worth another reminder:

This will be the first Christmas EVER without my daughters. When you get divorced and your children are split in two, you know this dreaded day will come eventually. It’s like April 15th in December. Looking back, I’ve been blessed with 12 wonder-filled Christmas mornings, over a decade of giddy dawns. It’s been magical. I’ve had a good run. But this year, it’s my ex’s turn to experience all that.

I’ll miss the little things: The frosted cookies on a plate with a note to Santa; the frenzied, last-minute gift-wrapping; getting up before dawn to wait by the lighted tree, hot tea in hand, camera at the ready; and then that Kodak moment, the look of pure joy, mouths forming perfect ‘O’s’ as my sleepy children get their first look at Santa’s handiwork.

Yes, I’ll be alone on Christmas morning. But woe is NOT me, for I have been given the gift of perspective; an epiphany that, like the symbolism of Christmas itself, has come in the form of a newborn baby. Her name is Emilie. She’s sweet and beautiful…and lying in the intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, tubes as long as she is coming out of her in every direction. Emilie was born with a defect that prompted surgery three days into her fragile life. Her parents – my neighbors – are, understandably, on pins and needles. While the prognosis is good, and there’s every reason to believe that Emilie will wake up Christmas morning in her own home, still . . . I worry. I pray. And I count my blessings.

Certainly, I’ll miss my kids on Christmas morning. But there are much bigger heartaches, one being played out just a few houses over. As divorced parents, we need to look at the overall picture. It really doesn’t matter which custodial parent’s home your children wake up in on December 25. What’s most important is that they are alive, in good health and loved year-round.

So what do I plan to do, all alone, on that calendar day we call “Christmas?” Something I don’t do often enough: RELAX. I’ll sleep in, enjoy a long, uninterrupted cup of tea (what is THAT?) while watching the twinkling lights of my tree and start a new book. I can hardly wait.

About mid-morning, when I know my kids have ripped into all those gifts at their dad’s house, I’ll call to say “Merry Christmas” and let them know a similar scenario awaits their return.

And more than a few times, I will glance through the window, toward my neighbors’ house and try to imagine the joy unfolding as Emilie celebrates her very first Christmas with a family so grateful to have her home.

Christmas is about celebrating the life of children. And thanks to one precious baby, I’ll be singing a different tune this year… “Four calling birds, three French hens, two healthy children and a heart filled with love and gratitude for my bounty year-round.”


Can anyone recommend a good book for Lynn Armitage to read on Christmas morning?

Cover Up! The Kids Are Watching!

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday, I went into a young girls' clothing store called "Justice" to return a sweater that I had bought my daughter for Christmas that she was too afraid to tell me she hated and would never wear. The tags were still on it! (What is it about mothers turning into fashion failures after they have kids?)

Anyway, I walked up to the register and standing behind it with a pretty little smile on her face was a 20-something gal looking perky -- and quite seductive in a top cut so low, I could almost see her areolas. Swear to God! I looked around to make sure I hadn't accidentally walked in to a Frederick's of Hollywood, and for a split second thought I should check the sign outside the store to see if it said, "Girls! Girls! Girls!"

I was flabbergasted that a clerk working in a store that sold clothes for young girls between 5 and 12 years old would be dressed like a stripper. Had she no common sense? Doesn't she realize that our young daughters are watching, and learning, from her generation of young women? If they see all these gals walking around baring their breasts like it's a mandatory dress code for that age group, they will think it's OK to dress that way, too; that sexy and slutty are "in," and modesty is SO uncool.

I mean, what are these salesclerks thinking when they get dressed for work? Do they think some really cute guy is going to walk in to a store for little girls, for no apparent reason, see them up at the counter showing their nipples and think, "You are SO hot! I want to whisk you away from this miserable minimum-wage existence to birth my babies!" (Picture Richard Gere in "An Officer and a Gentleman.") These stores aren't bars or nightclubs -- they are WORK places!

So I did what any Mad Mom would do: I asked for the manager. I told her that I was a mother of a tween -- a very impressionable tween -- and that I didn't appreciate shopping in a store for young girls where the salesclerks are dressed like hookers. I suggested that she tell all the Justice employees to cover up -- or at least wear cammies over all that cleavage. I told her it is highly inappropriate to dress like that around our innocent young daughters and that they had an obligation, working in a store like this, to be role models for our children.

In other words, I suggested she mandate a new dress code for her employees of "Less cleavage, more class."

And I'd like to encourage every mother out there who has a young daughter to follow suit. If you walk into a store that sells products aimed at your child, and the salesclerks look like prostitutes, PLEASE go up to the manager and let her know that you're not going to be shopping there any longer if her employees continue to dress like that because it's sending the wrong message to our children, who are oversexualized enough as it is.

If each of us can do this one little thing, we may be able to help our daughters hang on to their innocence a little bit longer.

Better yet, send a complaint to their customer service department. Maybe if they get hit with enough mad-mom e-mails, they might reconsider their employee dress code. Here's the link (and a BIG thank you to Joe at joeprose.typepad.com/my_weblog for suggesting that we attack them digitally!): http://www.shopjustice.com/customerService/Contact_Us

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