Taco Bell Burritos Shrunk!

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Now that the Tiger Woods scandal is pretty much old news, let's talk about another cheater: Taco Bell! Yep, I bring you another installment of "The Incredible Shrinking Bread Loaf," only this time, we're talking burritos.

Drove through Taco Bell today to feed me and my teen. Lunch in a pinch. Ordered my usual bean burrito, and while it tasted the same -- hot, gooey and delicious -- it looked different, somehow. Upon further examination, I realized that the burrito I have loved for three decades is now SMALLER!

It has shrunk in both length and girth, and I am one unhappy senorita. The beauty of Mexican food is that it is so cheap to make. We're talking tortillas, refried beans and cheese configured a zillion different ways. It's a cheap, winning formula -- for everyone! But I guess someone at corporate headquarters (in Irvine, California, if I'm not mistaken) saw an opportunity to make even more millions by cheating consumers -- their bread and butter all these many years.

I don't mind if something gets smaller, as long as the price shrinks right along with it. That seems fair. But that's not the case, here. The price is still the same, but now we get less burrito.
I'll admit that if it weren't for Taco Bell, a lot of people would go hungry. But while it's still an affordable food choice, it's likely that we won't be as sated with the downsized portion as we were in the good ol' days, which means we may have to buy two burritos, instead of one.

Oh . . . I get it now.

He GETS Me!

I won’t argue that the Del Taco horse is beaten and long dead. Trust me, I don’t want to resurrect that big stink! But you may have missed the last few responses that have trickled in. FINALLY, my people have come out of the shadows in my defense. Where the HELL have you been? You left me all alone, defending myself against an angry mob with nothing but a sharp tongue. Anyway, I’m glad you finally showed up.

But one response in particular stands out because it’s from one of the loudest critics of me in this fray. His name is Jouda Mann. Probably not his real name, but still. He’s a Farker, and what I love about his final response to me is that he GETS me! Jouda is right on the money about who I am and my purpose behind writing this blog: It’s where I go to scream when something’s bothering me. Where I let it all out and gain composure before I blend seamlessly and sanely back into the mainstream. I don’t bitch and whine all the time. But I do it all the time here.

This world is full of so many different people and viewpoints. Just look at what’s going on in the Middle East. But that doesn’t mean that it has to get ugly. Less prejudgments and more tolerance can go a long way. Thank you, Jouda, for demonstrating this.

I copied Jouda’s response below so that you don’t have to go fishing for it. But before you read it, take a look at this video. For those of you who don’t quite understand a mother’s primal instinct to nurture and protect her children, this might enlighten you some. It’s also a wonderful testament to how two different species can get along in this mad world, if only we come from a place of understanding.






Jouda Mann said...

For the first question, I live in Texas, and I have never even seen a DelTaco. But I do have an analytical mind, and I know that the figures I cam to might not be accurate, but they're close.

As for snowflakes:The Urban Dictionary defines "Precious Snowflake" thus:Child of extremely overprotective and/or self-absorbed parents. Coddled from birth, their mommy and daddy will get stupid, ludicrous rules added or changed because they cannot fathom the idea that their kid might have to learn humility. Often turn out to be stuck-up, spoiled pains in the ass because they get everything they want.We Farkers, as you have labeled us, use that term to indicate our disgust with people who seem to show us these traits.

I think that the reason you have garnered this attention from the Alt community is because many of them know how to read words, but they do not know how to read the correct inflection in the words. They just assume that you are another butthurt loud mouthed mom who's gonna raise a big stink.However, in your case, I will admit that it's unfair.

I took the time to read some of your blog posts, and while you do come off as somewhat standoffish and a little uppity, one can see that you have taken up these blogs as a way to blow off steam. I can also tell that while you are concerned about the welfare of people in general, and your children and their friends in particular, you don't take yourself as seriously as it might appear on the surface.

Actually, since you and I got over jabbing at each other, and talked to each other as human beings, I can tell that we would probably have some very interesting conversations. You be Shawn Hannity, but with less Crazy, and I'll be Kieth Olberman, but with less smug attitude and condescension.

Mad Mom Responds To Del Taco Uproar

First off, welcome to my blog. Glad you found me in the dark of night, even if you were carrying torches and pitchforks. Nothing like a public lynching to get your day off to a good start!

I thought it best to create a separate blog to respond to all your responses, so here goes:

Look, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. So while I could react very defensively to some of the vicious, mean-spirited attacks on me, I’m not going there. Nope, not me. I’m above all that. I’m resilient. Made of rubber. I soar with eagles.

Well . . . I’ll try not to go there, anyway. But you know, I am human. And female. So I may be little, teensie-bit offended by your barbs. But I’ll try not to show it. Turn the other cheek. Shrug it off. Bounce.

So, um . . . do you really think my blog makes me look FAT??

Anyway, for the sake of brevity, let me sum up your responses this way: About 98% of you think I am a bad mom who stifles her children, a prude who needs to get laid, an overreactive psycho divorcee who is screwing up her children for life because I try to shelter my daughters from society’s attempts to oversexualize them.

It's a wonder that I get anything done around here.

I just have one question for all the people out there who have these lovely thoughts about me: How many of you are parents? I suspect not many. Because if you were a parent, you would understand the need, the impulse, the fierce, mother-bear instinct to want to protect your children from things they don’t YET need to know about.

And I don’t think an 11-year-old needs to know what “bagging a hottie” means! Let’s stay focused on the issue here! One of you named “Anonymous,” and there were many, made my point for me when you said that 11-year-olds already know all about sex because they’re giving each other blowjobs in middle school.

Where do you think the knowledge of blowjobs is coming from, Anonymous? Could it be that there aren’t enough boundaries out there between adults and children? That the line between what children need to know and what they don’t has become terribly blurred, possibly in the name of entertainment? That maybe we are exposing our children to messages and information that they don’t need to understand yet at their young age?

All right, maybe the call for a boycott was a little overreactive, I’ll give you that much. And yes, maybe I shouldn’t be feeding my kids fast food. But it was the middle of the afternoon, we were far from home, the kids were hungry for an after-school snack, what was I supposed to do? Drive around until I found a Mother’s Market or a vegetarian co-op? No time for that. We had an appointment to get to in 10 minutes.

Sifting through all the negative comments, I came across a few CONSTRUCTIVE ones that I think are worthy of mention. First, the one that suggested I ask everyone to recycle the Del Taco bags, not throw them away. VERY good point. Very green of you.

And then this one, which I think sums up all the hysteria in a very logical, non-emotional way. Whoever you are, thank you for being the voice of sanity in a sea of madness:

Poor choice in advertising on the part of Del Taco.

Poor choice of food on the part of mom.

Del Taco: Please consider changing your advertisement to something that might be more appropriate for families with young children.

Families with young children: Please stop feeding your kids dinner from the nearest fast food joint.

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Happy Mother's Day!

I usually don't like chain e-mails -- jokes and videos and inspirational thoughts that have been around the Internet and back a zillion times. But every now and then, I get a jewel, like this one. And a timely jewel it is, too.

Happy Mother's Day to every woman who has stretch marks to prove it. Enjoy!



25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Were you raised in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

The Incredible Shrinking Bread Loaf

For about a year, I’ve noticed this trend toward downsizing in grocery stores. "Downsizing” is really not the right word. It’s more like "fraud," as more and more food and product manufacturers try to fool consumers into thinking that we should continue to shell out the same amount of money – or more -- for less of something.

Do they really think we’re that stupid?

Well, we must be because we continue to take it on the chin. We continue to purchase these incredible shrinking products at over-inflated prices. And I’m pointing the finger at myself, too!

I first noticed it with toilet paper. I used to buy the 12-pack of Charmin. It lasted about three weeks in our household. Then Charmin decided to repackage their TP from 12 rolls down to six double rolls. Do the very simple math, and you would think that you’re getting the same amount of toilet paper, right? Well, we weren’t. This double-roll package barely lasts two weeks now. Something stinks.

Then came the anorexic bottles of laundry detergent. I’m not sure who started it first – Tide, Cheer or All – but their bottles suddenly became smaller and thinner. They tried to convince us all that these newly repackaged jugs of liquid soap were now “double strength.” And it worked!

And now that the detergent giants realize what suckers we are, they’ve launched their newest scam: Even SMALLER detergent containers, but TRIPLE the strength. So within a year’s time, laundry detergent has morphed from 100 oz. to 50 oz. to the latest rip-off – the 32.-oz-triple-load jug. And to add insult to injury, they’ve also jacked up the prices.

Did you notice that gallons of ice cream are smaller, too? The price is the same, but now you get even less of the good stuff.

Recently, I fell for the most clever scam of all: Two bread loaves shrink-wrapped together for a little more than the price of one. Bread prices are outrageous, too, and when I saw that I could get two loaves for a few cents more than I pay for one loaf, I thought, “I’m there!”

When I brought my prized loaves home, I discovered that I had been scammed. Those so-called “full loaves” of bread were really half loaves. And when I placed one on top of the other, choo-choo-train-style, whaddya know . . . the length of those combined two HALF loaves was about three slices longer than one regular loaf of bread. And I paid about 75 cents more for it, too!

Speaking of bread rip-offs, have you noticed that Quiznos has joined in on the incredible-shrinking-bread-loaf scam? Their six-inch loaves are much thinner now. Length-wise, you might be getting the full six inches. But they’ve definitely lost some girth.

You would think that during a deep recession, a time when so many families are rubbing nickels together just to get by, that companies such as Tide and Charmin and Quiznos would try to make things a little easier for their loyal consumers. They have decided to gouge us, instead.

Besides toilet paper, ice cream, laundry detergent and bread, what other items have you noticed are getting smaller and smaller, yet pricier and pricier?

• 4 Easy Steps for DIY Laundry Detergent (suddenlyfrugal.wordpress.com)
  
• 3 Safety Precautions with DIY Cleaners (suddenlyfrugal.wordpress.com)

Sticker Shock

You recognize these car stickers, don't you? For some bizarre reason, motorists feel compelled to let everyone know how many kids and pets they have, and what all their names are, too. Yeah, they provide some light entertainment when you're stuck behind that mini van at a long light. Come to think of it, I'd like to see Octo Mom's custom decal showing off her 14 children. Not sure the back window would be wide enough, though.

Normally, I don't pay any attention to these decals, but one did catch my eye the other day. The stick-figure lineup included a man with HUGE muscles, a woman next to him, a little girl and a dog. What made this particular decal so different is that there was a HUGE red "X" over the mom. Get it? Dad, the driver, is divorced, and judging by his shameless promotion of it, he couldn't be happier.

As a divorced single mother, I thought it was tacky and lacked sensitivity to how his daughter might be feeling. I'm sure she doesn't like riding around in a car that is advertising the fact that her mom is out of the picture. She must be embarrassed and hurt by that. What's that saying from Dr. Phil? "Saying bad things about your ex in front of your children is like attacking their DNA." I wondered if she thought that maybe her father might "X" her out of his life someday, too.

Anyway, I tried to take a picture of it for you all because I heard that's what the really good bloggers do. And I did, with my cell phone. But I forgot to click save before I shut the camera off and when I got home to retrieve the picture, it had been deleted. And of course the mini van was long gone by then, parked somewhere in the driveway of Happy Bachelor Land. So the generic photo above will have to suffice.

Sorry. I'll know better next time I'm out and about as a roving blogger.

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Not Alone In My Madness

Image via Wikipedia Now that I'm done whining about a few things, I think it's time I started enlightening you. Offer up some real-world advice for raising kids in this tech-savvy, cyber-obsessed world that, unfortunately on so many counts, is here to stay. I'm not adopting an "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality. It's more of an "if you can't beat 'em, stay way ahead of 'em" philosophy.

I've stumbled on a few sites out there that you parents will find very helpful. Sites that can help parents guide their children safely through this age of social, interactive media. First off, check out connectsafely.org (http://www.connectsafely.org/). This site was started by the authors of "MySpace Unraveled: What it is and how to use it safely." You'll find tons of tips and advice on how to help your kids navigate safely through the Web and how to engage in safe social networking. Like these:


* Be reasonable and try to set reasonable expectations. Pulling the plug on your child’s favorite social site is like pulling the plug on his or her social life. Instead of being protective, it can shut down communication and send kids "underground" where they're more at risk. It's too easy for them to set up free blogs and profiles from anywhere, including friends' houses or even a cell phone.

* Talk with your kids about how they use the services. They, not news reports or even experts, are the ones to consult about their social-Web experience. Help them understand basic safety guidelines, such as protecting their privacy (including passwords), not harassing peers, never talking about sex with people they don't know, avoiding in-person meetings with people they "meet" online, and taking care in what they post - because anything people put online can be grabbed, reworked, and used against them.

* Support critical thinking and civil behavior because no laws or parental-control software can protect better than a child's developing good sense about safety and relationships. Research shows that kids who are aggressive and mean online toward peers or strangers are at greater risk of becoming victims themselves. So teach them to be good citizens and friends online as much as offline.

* Consider requiring Internet use in a high-traffic place in your home - not in kids' rooms - to help you stay aware of their online time. This way, you can encourage a balance between online time and their offline academic, sports, and social times. Know that there are also many ways kids can access the Internet away from home, including on many mobile phones and game players.

* Try to get your kids to share their profiles and blogs with you, but be aware that they can have multiple accounts on multiple services. Use search engines and the search tools on social-networking sites to search for your kids' full names, phone numbers and other identifying information. You're not invading their privacy if they're putting personal info in public "places" online. If their pages are private, that's a good thing, but it's even better if they share it with you.


© 2008 ConnectSafely.org

Kids Are NOT Sexy, OK?!

This blog is aimed directly at parents. (In fact, if I could shoot a few of you, I would.) This weekend, I experienced two incidents that really disturbed me. My daughters and I were shopping, and this little girl walked by me, she must have been 7 years old, tops. Cute little thing, except she was wearing this T-shirt that shouted in big, bold letters: “I LOVE FRAT BOYS!”

What?? Does she even know what a frat boy is? Has she even seen “Animal House?” First off, I would not be encouraging my 7-year-old daughter to love boys. At that sweet age, she should love stuffed animals and macaroni and cheese (and her mom and dad, of course). Secondly, encouraging your daughter to love boys who are rude, obnoxious, destructive, and focused on partying and screwing hordes of women is not good parenting, People!

Most important, why would you think it’s cute, funny or cool to turn your precious young daughter into a sex object? (mercatornet.com/articles/focus_on_media_a_toxic_culture_for_girls/) Is it because her mom, who bought her that ridiculous t-shirt, never felt sexy or got attention from men, so she and wanted to make sure her own daughter got a "good start" in life?

We then went into another store where three little girls, who were maybe 10, were wearing makeup. Lots of it. Thick mascara and garishly-blue eye shadow. We couldn’t help but stare. One of them turns to my daughters and says: “Why are you looking at us? Because we’re so hot?”

Parents, I am BEGGING you to stop sexualizing your children! They are not hot, they are not sexy . . . they are children! And as parents, it is your obligation to guard their innocence. Is it any wonder that our society seems to be getting overrun by sexual predators? Buying your children sexually suggestive T-shirts and dressing them up to look like street walkers is only fueling these predators' sick, sexual fantasies.

Think about that next time you decide to buy your daughter a T-shirt that says: “Kiss me. I’m daddy’s bad little girl.”

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Another Swipe At TPing

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A woman named Emptynester, who responded to my last blog, said she was TP'd and doesn't have children. (So much for my daughter's theory!) She thought the attack on her home was outright malicious vandalism. So it got me thinking: Does the law consider TPing someone's house an act of vandalism?

I went straight to the source and called the local police department. According to the desk sergeant, TPing is "technically not vandalism because it does not damage property." It is merely a disturbance, he says. Egging a house, on the other hand, IS vandalism because it usually forces homeowners to paint a shutter or an outside part of the home where the egg has dried and has to be scraped off.

Not to worry, Homeowners . . . that doesn't mean the little vandals can get away with causing all that mischief. If caught in the act by the police, or if the homeowner knows with 100% certainty who did it, the kids can be cited for a curfew violation (most attacks happen very late at night, well past curfews) and forced to clean the mess up on the spot, so says the same officer in question. Or the homeowner can take it a step further and press charges for trespassing, which could result in a civil suit and the parents getting "wiped out" by a hefty fine.

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A Tissue Issue

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Over the weekend, my neighbors got TP’d. Their trees and lawn were covered in a blanket of snowy, white tissue. In Maine, this spectacle might have looked quite ordinary this time of year. But with 80-degree temps in November in Southern California, trust me, white is not the color our lawns should be wearing. My shock immediately turned to sympathy. Whatever that family had planned for the day was going to have to wait at least 2-3 hours until they cleaned up that wet white mess.

We all did our share of TPing back when we were adolescents. I remember it being fun and somewhat thrilling, thinking we might get caught in the act. But now, as an adult, I have a whole different view on TPing. I see it from the homeowner’s perspective – it is a nuisance and cleaning it up is a major time-sucker. My teen tells me it’s a compliment if you get TP’d. It means you are popular, and some boy or girl likes you. Couldn’t the smitten young girl just bake my neighbor boy a lasagna, instead?

When we used to TP, we’d spend the night at someone’s house and then sneak out into the dark of night, when her parents were asleep, and do the dirty deed, because we knew it was wrong and that most rational parents would never condone us destroying a neighbor’s property.

Times change. I’ve changed. Today, parents are actually driving these kids over in their big-ass SUVs and letting them scatter, like roaches, out into the neighborhood with armfuls of toilet paper rolls. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? These parents-turned-accessories watch and wait from the safety of the getaway car while these kids do their business. Then, what? They go home and make root beer floats and talk about how much fun it was to vandalize someone else’s property?

This fuddy duddy just doesn’t GET it! So I’m asking all the parents out there, would you drive your adolescents over to TP someone else’s house? Why or why not? And do you consider TPing vandalism?

Shoot The Messenger

Image via Wikipedia OK, moms . . . I know you’ve heard this song, and I wonder if it bothers you as much as it bothers me. It’s a very popular, overplayed tune called “Paper Planes” by MIA. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sei-eEjy4g) When you first listen to it, it has a cool sound, a catchy tune and the singer belts it out in a very distinctive voice, I'll give her that. You can’t help but listen. Then comes the chorus: “All I want to do is . . . (pop, pop, pop – the sound of guns going off) and take your mo-nay . . .” then you hear a cash register drawer opening up.

When I first heard this song, my teen acted out the gun-shooting part with the thumbs and index fingers on both her hands, as though she was actually shooting at someone, and then when the sound of the cash register comes, she pulled down on an imaginary slot-machine lever. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing and what “mo-nay” was, and she quickly educated me.

“Mom, it’s ‘money.’ They’re shooting someone and taking their money.” At the end of the song, the gangsta gal brings it to a dramatic close by singing, "Some I murder, some I let go . . . "

What the HELL??? Is this what record producers think our children need to sing along to, or for that matter, is this what these musical geniuses think is going to sell records? Who do they think is going to give our teens the money to BUY these records, anyway?? Not me, and I implore YOU not to buy this CD or let your children download this song to their iPod, either! Since WHEN did it become popular for our children to emulate and glorify gangsters?

Please, PLEASE do your children – and the world -- a favor and switch the station every time this song comes on. Either find the Disney Channel, some soft rock station or shut the radio off altogether and use this time to connect with your children in a loving, way, rather than the way Hollywood is trying to reach them – through mainstreamed violence.