Hey, Let's Eat!

Image via Wikipedia Today, I’m not so mad. Sorry to disappoint you. How could I be in any other mood but a jolly one? Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the most glorified dinner of the year. People all over the country will be taking planes, trains and automobiles to sit at the table with loved ones – and those folks you have to put up with once a year.

Whatever your plans, I wish you a relaxing, warm and wonderful day. And don’t worry about eating too much. You have the whole year to work it off. Or you could just roll over the calories into the next holiday, like a Frequent Eater Program.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! Happy Thanksgiving!

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Kids Are NOT Sexy, OK?!

This blog is aimed directly at parents. (In fact, if I could shoot a few of you, I would.) This weekend, I experienced two incidents that really disturbed me. My daughters and I were shopping, and this little girl walked by me, she must have been 7 years old, tops. Cute little thing, except she was wearing this T-shirt that shouted in big, bold letters: “I LOVE FRAT BOYS!”

What?? Does she even know what a frat boy is? Has she even seen “Animal House?” First off, I would not be encouraging my 7-year-old daughter to love boys. At that sweet age, she should love stuffed animals and macaroni and cheese (and her mom and dad, of course). Secondly, encouraging your daughter to love boys who are rude, obnoxious, destructive, and focused on partying and screwing hordes of women is not good parenting, People!

Most important, why would you think it’s cute, funny or cool to turn your precious young daughter into a sex object? (mercatornet.com/articles/focus_on_media_a_toxic_culture_for_girls/) Is it because her mom, who bought her that ridiculous t-shirt, never felt sexy or got attention from men, so she and wanted to make sure her own daughter got a "good start" in life?

We then went into another store where three little girls, who were maybe 10, were wearing makeup. Lots of it. Thick mascara and garishly-blue eye shadow. We couldn’t help but stare. One of them turns to my daughters and says: “Why are you looking at us? Because we’re so hot?”

Parents, I am BEGGING you to stop sexualizing your children! They are not hot, they are not sexy . . . they are children! And as parents, it is your obligation to guard their innocence. Is it any wonder that our society seems to be getting overrun by sexual predators? Buying your children sexually suggestive T-shirts and dressing them up to look like street walkers is only fueling these predators' sick, sexual fantasies.

Think about that next time you decide to buy your daughter a T-shirt that says: “Kiss me. I’m daddy’s bad little girl.”

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EXcuuuuse Meez?!!

Image by ehnotsomuch42 via Flickr

I haven’t posted a blog in almost a week. That means my blood pressure is down and all is right with the world – if you’re not counting the recession, rising unemployment, Wall Street woes and the GM bailout.

Then last night, I found my next blog post. My teen was on a website called Meez. You ever heard of it? Basically, it’s a chat room where you can create an avatar of yourself that actually looks like you do in real life, and then you can manipulate yourself with the mouse to walk around the room, interacting with other chatter-avatars. Looked like one big party, so I watched for a while.

Then some idiot named Joe sent my daughter two messages, one right after the other:

“I like touching boobs.” EXCUUUSSEE ME??

And: “Can I borrow your vaginal cream?” OK, Buddy, get your little avatar paws off my daughter, you cyber creep!

One click and she was off that Meez website, and I set up parental controls to block it. I’m not sure how long she has been visiting Meez, as she goes to her dad’s house every other weekend, and I have zero control over what she does there. But she will not be on the Meez site over here anymore!

Pretty cool technology, I’ll give them that. But, once again, the Meez site is yet another portal through which creeps, perverts and predators can interact with our kids.

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Another Swipe At TPing

Image via Wikipedia
A woman named Emptynester, who responded to my last blog, said she was TP'd and doesn't have children. (So much for my daughter's theory!) She thought the attack on her home was outright malicious vandalism. So it got me thinking: Does the law consider TPing someone's house an act of vandalism?

I went straight to the source and called the local police department. According to the desk sergeant, TPing is "technically not vandalism because it does not damage property." It is merely a disturbance, he says. Egging a house, on the other hand, IS vandalism because it usually forces homeowners to paint a shutter or an outside part of the home where the egg has dried and has to be scraped off.

Not to worry, Homeowners . . . that doesn't mean the little vandals can get away with causing all that mischief. If caught in the act by the police, or if the homeowner knows with 100% certainty who did it, the kids can be cited for a curfew violation (most attacks happen very late at night, well past curfews) and forced to clean the mess up on the spot, so says the same officer in question. Or the homeowner can take it a step further and press charges for trespassing, which could result in a civil suit and the parents getting "wiped out" by a hefty fine.

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A Tissue Issue

Image via Wikipedia
Over the weekend, my neighbors got TP’d. Their trees and lawn were covered in a blanket of snowy, white tissue. In Maine, this spectacle might have looked quite ordinary this time of year. But with 80-degree temps in November in Southern California, trust me, white is not the color our lawns should be wearing. My shock immediately turned to sympathy. Whatever that family had planned for the day was going to have to wait at least 2-3 hours until they cleaned up that wet white mess.

We all did our share of TPing back when we were adolescents. I remember it being fun and somewhat thrilling, thinking we might get caught in the act. But now, as an adult, I have a whole different view on TPing. I see it from the homeowner’s perspective – it is a nuisance and cleaning it up is a major time-sucker. My teen tells me it’s a compliment if you get TP’d. It means you are popular, and some boy or girl likes you. Couldn’t the smitten young girl just bake my neighbor boy a lasagna, instead?

When we used to TP, we’d spend the night at someone’s house and then sneak out into the dark of night, when her parents were asleep, and do the dirty deed, because we knew it was wrong and that most rational parents would never condone us destroying a neighbor’s property.

Times change. I’ve changed. Today, parents are actually driving these kids over in their big-ass SUVs and letting them scatter, like roaches, out into the neighborhood with armfuls of toilet paper rolls. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? These parents-turned-accessories watch and wait from the safety of the getaway car while these kids do their business. Then, what? They go home and make root beer floats and talk about how much fun it was to vandalize someone else’s property?

This fuddy duddy just doesn’t GET it! So I’m asking all the parents out there, would you drive your adolescents over to TP someone else’s house? Why or why not? And do you consider TPing vandalism?

Proud Of Pop

Something's been nagging at me all day. It's Veteran's Day, as you all know, and I really didn't pay enough tribute to the veteran in my life -- my own father.

I told you in the previous post that he fought in the Vietnam and Korean Wars. I was a tween then, and going off to war was just my father's job. It's what he did. Some people's fathers work in construction, some are lawyers, some fight fires. My father fought other men. It was his job, and I never understood the importance -- and magnitude -- of it, really. But I do now, all these years later.

This past summer, my daughters and I went to Wisconsin to see our first pow-wow. My father had the privilege of carrying the American flag for our tribe because he is the highest decorated Air Force officer in the Oneida nation. (That's a BIG deal!) He carried the flag stoically, pridefully, and I could see how much he was respected by other veterans. (That's him in the photo.) For the first time ever, I understood that soldiering wasn't just my father's job, it was, and is, his identity. It is the centerpiece of his life. It is his heart.

My father and I don't always see eye to eye. Who am I kidding . . . we fight a lot! I know I don't say this often enough, but I am proud of you, Dad. And I hope you got all the respect you deserved today on your day, Veteran's Day.

Take A Moment

Image by J.H.Gray via Flickr Today is Veteran’s Day. For most parents, this means a day off of work, no school for our kids and for the lucky ones, the tail end of a four-day weekend. Before you motor over to the park with your children or meet a friend for a matinee, give some thought to why you are able to enjoy these wonderful freedoms that we Americans have. Freedoms that look so tantalizing from outside our borders, that more than 20 million illegal immigrants have crossed over them to relish the American way of life, too.

Veteran’s Day is the day to commemorate all those brave soldiers – living and dead -- who have put themselves in the line of fire for us, in every war in America’s history. I come from a long line of warriors, a bloodline which really came in handy during my tumultuous 10-year marriage. (I can laugh about that now!) My great grandfather, an Oneida Indian, fought as a conscript in the Civil War and returned home crippled.

My paternal grandfather is one of the last surviving members of the Lost Battalion, a group of about 547 soldiers who were trapped in the Argonne Forest by German forces and were being slaughtered. When the US forces finally arrived, less than 200 men were left of the 77th division. My grandfather was one of them. He was eventually awarded a purple heart and when he died a natural death many years later, he was buried in Arlington National Cemetery, not too far from the gravesite of President Kennedy.

My own father was an Air Force pilot and navigator who fought in the Korean and Vietnam wars. He flew 18 tours of duty, which included 663 missions. He was awarded three Distinguished Flying Crosses and 18 air medals.

We were lucky – my relatives returned from their wars alive. And I am so grateful for that. Yet so many of our soldiers die on the battlefield, their families never to see them again, just so people they didn’t even know can sleep peacefully at night under the banner of freedom.

Today, take a moment to say “Thank you” to all the sons and daughters who have willingly fought for our country. We owe them our lives.

Ebony And Ivory

Image via Wikipedia

OK, OK, so Obama won the election. Convincingly, I suppose. OK, OK, so it was a slaughter! Whatever, Dad! Clearly, this country is demanding a change, although, as a Republican, it feels more like a revolution today. I am willing to give him a chance. What choice do I have? Who knows? He could be great. He’s young enough, he’s smart enough and he has a phenomenal speech writer. Let’s just pray he surrounds himself with the right people. Rather, the right LEFT people.

I was devastated when the electoral college tally put him over the 270-vote target. But I have to tell you, what did soften my granite heart a bit was when I saw Obama’s family and Biden’s family on stage together after the President-elect’s acceptance speech. White Biden relatives hugging and kissing black Obama relatives. Forty years after the Civil Rights movement, the symbolism was hopeful and uplifting. Blacks and whites visibly uniting, centerstage, to move our country forward.

Whatever comes out of Obama’s presidency, good or bad, having a black President should go a long way in repairing race relations in this country. Hey, it’s a start, anyway. And as a mother, I like knowing that my children will be growing up in a more racially tolerant country.

Oh, if I can just be a little petty for a moment . . . what was up with that black and red disaster of a dress that Michelle Obama was wearing? She may want to borrow some of Sarah Palin's designer suits.

Get out and vote, you McCainiacs!

Image by It's Our City via Flickr
My father is an extremely annoying man. He stirs up controversy and trouble wherever he goes because all he ever talks about is politics. Today, my annoying father will be at the top of his game. He has been waiting, rabidly, for this day all year because he is convinced that there will be a dramatic and righteous change of the guard, that Obama will be victorious and that the radical, right-wing extremists will no longer be in charge. His words, not mine. Simply put, my father hates Republicans. It’s a blind, all-encompassing hatred and needless to say, I am a huge disappointment to him.

I want McCain to win, not because I think he’s the right man for the job. There really is no “right man” this time. But because we don’t know enough about Obama, this junior Senator, this inexperienced politician who came out of left field. And I blame the media for this. They are the target of my rage today.

The media did not do their jobs during this election process, they didn’t ask the right questions of a man who has questionable associations with radicals, they did not dig deep enough into some troubling facts about a man who is poised to be the most powerful figure in the world. Probably because they spent too much of their time publicly eviscerating Sarah Palin, who isn’t even running for the presidency! They criticized her mothering, said she cheated on her husband, claimed she abused her authority as governor of Alaska, minimized her political popularity, devalued her executive experience and demeaned her intelligence. Nothing was safe with Sarah, not even the designer clothes on her back. And why the hell didn’t the media give equal time to bringing Biden down? He really stayed under the radar, didn’t he?

Back to my father. I really don’t want Obama to win today mostly because I will have to listen to dear old dad gloating for the next four years. God Bless Caller I.D.

Morning Drive

Image via Wikipedia This morning, I was driving my teen to school and we were flipping through the various radio stations. My teen settled on 102.7 KISS FM, hosted by the busiest man in entertainment -- Ryan Seacrest. He was taking a call from a woman who was complaining about how her husband had cheated on her multiple times throughout their marriage. So, she told Ryan, she decided to have an affair, too, and she wanted Ryan to call her husband and break the news to him. Not sure what happened after that because I quickly changed the station. I can't BELIEVE that this is the kind of tripe that radio stations are programing in the morning, when hordes of parents are taking their children to school! I guess it's fun for adults to witness the unraveling of trust and surely the breakup of a marriage LIVE, as it's happening, on the radio. After all, reality TV and radio is SO in vogue these days! But, come on! Is this the message we want to send to our daughters and sons -- that it's OK to betray the one you love because it will get you some airtime someday? I deprogrammed KISS FM immediately from our radio dial. It's no longer a "preferred" station. Send a message to their advertisers and do the same, won't you?

Bump, Sit, SPIKES!

So, is everyone as happy as I am that Halloween is over? I no longer feel obligated to open my door to complete strangers begging me for a sugar high. I actually ran out of candy this year, how about you? I knew things were desperate when I started rummaging through my pantry for anything worth giving away. I had given away all the treats. It was time for some tricks. I imagine there were a few surprised children last night when they dumped all their candy out on the rug and out rolled a can of tuna. Hey, in these tough economic times, that's dinner!

Today is November 1st. All Saints Day. How ironic that we should talk about teens, who are anything but saints. Last night, I met the boy that my 15-year-old is (in keeping with the Halloween theme) "sweet" on. Name is Nick. (Coincidentally, that was MY first boyfriend's name.) I wasn't impressed with Nick. More to the point, I was scared of Nick. He was the picture of a parent's worst nightmare: black leather, dark eyeliner and tall, stiff, spikes where there was supposed to be hair. (I learned later that they are called "Liberty Spikes.") My first thought was, "Please, God, let that be a Halloween costume." Then his two friends walked in, dressed the exact same way, and my next thought was, "Good God, Daughter. What are you thinking??" My teen SWEARS that Nick was in costume. She said that normally he has long, dark hair that hangs in his face. Was that supposed to make me feel better?? (BTW, that is not Nick in the picture!)

So what made me really MAD about these boys -- and Nick, in particular -- is that they walked into MY home, bumped right by me and didn't say one word! Not "Hello," not "Hey," not even a barely audible grunt that teenaged boys are famous for. Nada. Then they had the nerve to just go plop on my couch, and again, not even acknowledge me as I was standing there in the middle of the living room with my mouth agape. First I was mad at the punk Punkers for being so rude. And then I was mad at my daughter who didn't bother to introduce me, either. (And believe me, I let her know about that later!)

The moral of this blog? If you're the mother of a boy, who will one day be old enough to go to a girl's house and meet her parents, you may want to teach your darling son that it's probably a good idea for him to go out of his way to be charming and friendly and gracious to the girl's parents. Otherwise, it might be an extremely short-lived romance.

My daughter begged me to give Nick another chance. I just grunted.