Pay Your Damn Child Support!

In Family Court last week (I was in the area and thought I'd drop by!)

-- a place I have dubbed "The Unhappiest Place On Earth" -- I witnessed a case that disgusted me. This poor woman, who was representing herself because she couldn't afford a lawyer, was begging the judge to give her children back to her. She has a 17-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter.

Apparently, she was the primary custodial parent all along and is a good, devoted mother. But because her ex-husband, who makes over $200,000/year, hasn't paid her any child support in quite some time, she was evicted from her home and had to move in with her mother. The deadbeat ex-husband then took her to court and got custody of the children because this poor woman didn't have a place of her own where they could all live.

She proved to the judge that she is working two jobs to save up for a down payment on a rental. but still, that wasn't enough to sway him. The judge said that until she could afford a place of her own, the children would remain with the ex-husband and his new wife.

How can this even be considered fair or legal? She is thousands of dollars in debt because her asshole ex-husband hasn't paid court-ordered child support -- mandated by law! -- and because of that, she was evicted and subsequently lost custody of her children. Where is the justice in all this?

She ran out of the courtroom in tears. And the asshole ex-husband followed her out with a smirk on his face. I wanted to shoot him, but they confiscated my firearm down at check-in.

So all I can do is blog about it and send a message out to all the deadbeat dads in the world who are dodging their child support: You may think you're getting away with it now, but it will catch up to you in one way or another. You'll either get your license revoked, your tax check intercepted or if you owe more than $10,000, you could be doing some time in jail, where I hear they really love assholes!

The worst penalty, however, will be the day you have to face your children when they're old enough to know the truth and explain to them why they weren't important enough for you to take care of them.

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Can Anyone Help Ivan?

Lindsay Lohan (via last.fm)

A 17-year-old student named Ivan posted the following comment on my blog, "Careful -- The Kids Are Watching!"

"im writing an important essay about the effect of society and media on the people and while doing my research i found your site i strongly identify with you and i really like what you talk about so i wanted to ask you: what is the negative effect of society and media on our alredy decadent society? your answer will help me alot!"

Not sure I answered Ivan's question, but I've posted my response. And I'd like to encourage all of you to help this young scholar with his essay and offer up a response of your own. I'll be happy to post it. You can send it to: Boatfolk@aol.com.


Ivan -- To answer your question . . . freedom of the press is an important right afforded to a democratic society. A free flow of information is generally a good thing. As a journalist, I believe in the public’s right to know. However, do we really need to know EVERYTHING?? I don’t really care where Paris Hilton partied last night or that Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian or where OctoMom shops for her octuplets’ clothes.

I think the danger we face in our democratic society is that with so much information (news, pictures, videos, blogs, etc.) being floated through the various media channels every day, a lot of junk gets through and that tends to normalize values and behaviors that are otherwise questionable. For instance, my daughter might come across a video on YouTube of two lesbians making out and the men standing around watching it are cheering them on. That sends the message to her that it’s “cool” and “normal” to be kissing girls.

Rap music is another great example of the destructive influence that pop culture has on our children. Kids hear Rap blaring from cars at stoplights, they hear it at the mall being played in their favorite stores -- usually with a cool video on a screen overhead – and it’s the music du jour that they are downloading on their iPods. Since Rap music is EVERYWHERE, kids are getting the message that it’s OK to act like a degenerate, to walk around with pants belted around your kneecaps, to act tough and swagger like a “gangsta,” and to degrade women and call them all “Shorty.”

When you mainstream the destructive behaviors of a few, it becomes the norm, and before you know it, you have an entire culture of degenerates.

I can’t stop the free flow of information. More to the point, I don’t want to. I believe in democracy and our freedom to choose what we want to read and watch and listen to. As a parent, I just wish there was more of a balance of choices, some louder and stronger voices crying out against the sometimes “value-less” mainstream.

I wish I could do more. I’m just one mom with a blog and a hectic life I can barely manage sometimes. I think the change I am seeking, the rally cry against some of this pop culture crap, begins at home. If parents became more vigilant and worked harder at instilling good values in their children, maybe that would help buffer the blow of the rapid degeneration of our society.

Does anyone else want to answer Ivan's question? Send your response to Boatfolk@aol.com.