Thursday, December 17, 2009

Taco Bell Burritos Shrunk!

Taco BellImage via Wikipedia
Now that the Tiger Woods scandal is pretty much old news, let's talk about another cheater: Taco Bell! Yep, I bring you another installment of "The Incredible Shrinking Bread Loaf," only this time, we're talking burritos.

Drove through Taco Bell today to feed me and my teen. Lunch in a pinch. Ordered my usual bean burrito, and while it tasted the same -- hot, gooey and delicious -- it looked different, somehow. Upon further examination, I realized that the burrito I have loved for three decades is now SMALLER!

It has shrunk in both length and girth, and I am one unhappy senorita. The beauty of Mexican food is that it is so cheap to make. We're talking tortillas, refried beans and cheese configured a zillion different ways. It's a cheap, winning formula -- for everyone! But I guess someone at corporate headquarters (in Irvine, California, if I'm not mistaken) saw an opportunity to make even more millions by cheating consumers -- their bread and butter all these many years.

I don't mind if something gets smaller, as long as the price shrinks right along with it. That seems fair. But that's not the case, here. The price is still the same, but now we get less burrito.
I'll admit that if it weren't for Taco Bell, a lot of people would go hungry. But while it's still an affordable food choice, it's likely that we won't be as sated with the downsized portion as we were in the good ol' days, which means we may have to buy two burritos, instead of one.

Oh . . . I get it now.
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Jouda Mann said...

Oh. God. Must.. not.. make.. joke... about... big... fat... burritos...
Today's captcha word is "metane", which is very close to what you spew when eating too many burritos
Two jokes in one post! Awesome.

Lynn said...


What is it about FART jokes that turns grown men into silly, little boys?

Jouda Mann said...

What's so bad about fart jokes? Farts are funny! Some of the best memories that I have of youth (and also some of the most wholesome and innocent) are of myself and my cousin breaking down laughing at the old man farting in the church pew in front of us, and then trying our best not to laugh.
Farts are central to my identity. All my adult life, when I first started dating a girl, I would make sure to let one rip on the first date. I married the one who laughed as hard as me.
You want a good laugh? Take your daughter to the grocery store after you have eaten your required two burritos from taco Bell. Then as you're walking the aisle, and she has gotten a little ahead of you or behind you, call her over to look at something on the shelf. Make sure you have her really engaged with something, and then let it rip, and let everyone hear it, and let them think that your daughter did it. As she looks at you totally surprised that her proper mother would ever do such a thing, you look at her with just a little curl of disgust in your lip. Then say something to the effect of "Oh my god, I can't believe you!" and walk away.
Best. Laugh. Ever.
I think I tore a diaphragm muscle the first time I did that to my wife.

Lynn said...

OK , Jouda, let me get this straight: The woman who laughs the hardest at your farts gets the prize. And that "prize" is YOU, who will be letting them rip freely for the rest of her life?

That's one screwed-up contest.

Jouda Mann said...

Wait... how did this get turned around on me?
Weren't you going on about how you liked big fat burritos?

Lynn said...

No, I was going on about how I don't appreciate being ripped off by Taco Bell DOWNSIZING their burritos. That then led you to a discussion about ripping off farts in public.

Isn't this usually the way these coversations end with men and women, anyway? We're totally disgusted and you guys act so innocent.

We're just playing our respective roles properly.

Jouda Mann said...

I tell a simple fart joke, then remind you about your Freudian tendencies toward foodstuffs, and THAT's all it took to get you totally disgusted?
Are you sure you're up to this game?

Lynn said...


Can't we all just get along??

Jouda Mann said...

Fine, peace is organized. Spoilsport.

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fixmdude said...

Yeah, I used to be OK eating 1, now they are so small 2 isn't enough and 3 is too much so you have to buy 3 to get full which is more than you need. If they want to raise the price, fine, but don't mess with the decades-old portions because then I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. It thorws off my understanding of what I need to do/buy. Very disconcerting.

HeyJoe said...

And I thought size didn't matter.

Lynn said...

Oh, Joe . . . size ALWAYS matters. Especially if it is small.

You do know I'm talking about burritos, don't you??

Anonymous said...

It's 2015 and just came back from taco bell. Well,lets just say I can eat two burrito supremes no problem. Remember the enchirito? They will probably bring that back as a tacquito!