Bump, Sit, SPIKES!

So, is everyone as happy as I am that Halloween is over? I no longer feel obligated to open my door to complete strangers begging me for a sugar high. I actually ran out of candy this year, how about you? I knew things were desperate when I started rummaging through my pantry for anything worth giving away. I had given away all the treats. It was time for some tricks. I imagine there were a few surprised children last night when they dumped all their candy out on the rug and out rolled a can of tuna. Hey, in these tough economic times, that's dinner!

Today is November 1st. All Saints Day. How ironic that we should talk about teens, who are anything but saints. Last night, I met the boy that my 15-year-old is (in keeping with the Halloween theme) "sweet" on. Name is Nick. (Coincidentally, that was MY first boyfriend's name.) I wasn't impressed with Nick. More to the point, I was scared of Nick. He was the picture of a parent's worst nightmare: black leather, dark eyeliner and tall, stiff, spikes where there was supposed to be hair. (I learned later that they are called "Liberty Spikes.") My first thought was, "Please, God, let that be a Halloween costume." Then his two friends walked in, dressed the exact same way, and my next thought was, "Good God, Daughter. What are you thinking??" My teen SWEARS that Nick was in costume. She said that normally he has long, dark hair that hangs in his face. Was that supposed to make me feel better?? (BTW, that is not Nick in the picture!)

So what made me really MAD about these boys -- and Nick, in particular -- is that they walked into MY home, bumped right by me and didn't say one word! Not "Hello," not "Hey," not even a barely audible grunt that teenaged boys are famous for. Nada. Then they had the nerve to just go plop on my couch, and again, not even acknowledge me as I was standing there in the middle of the living room with my mouth agape. First I was mad at the punk Punkers for being so rude. And then I was mad at my daughter who didn't bother to introduce me, either. (And believe me, I let her know about that later!)

The moral of this blog? If you're the mother of a boy, who will one day be old enough to go to a girl's house and meet her parents, you may want to teach your darling son that it's probably a good idea for him to go out of his way to be charming and friendly and gracious to the girl's parents. Otherwise, it might be an extremely short-lived romance.

My daughter begged me to give Nick another chance. I just grunted.

Happy Hallo-tween!

Today, bloggers all around cyberspace are most likely going to post something about Halloween. So I'll fall into line, too. I've read enough mom blogs to know that moms are not very happy about the costume choices available for our children. Our options are either inspired by Disney or by Penthouse. Not much in between.

My 15-year-old wanted to be a bumblebee this year. Cute idea. But the $29.99 costume at Party City included Barbie-sized shorts that exposed 3/4 of my daughter's ass. Worried that my teen would be picked up for prostitution as she walks the streets tonight, we decided to make our own. (I'll have to post the photo later after I take it tonight.)

My tween wanted to be a waitress this year, but again, what was commercially available was completely inappropriate for an 11-year-old, who happens to be very tall for her age and wears teen-sized clothing. I could just imagine the snarky comments she'd get from the boys at school: "Yes, I'll have one waitress with nothing on her, please." So, we snubbed Party City and all the other like costume stores and went straight to the source: We rented a waitress uniform from Ruby's Diner for $20, and they were more than happy to oblige. We also bought a serving tray at Target ($5) and then made a fake shake with a plastic glass we had at home and stuffed it with white tissue paper. Done deal!

Moms -- THIS is the kind of creative thinking you need to do every Halloween -- let your children be who or what they want to be, but pull together the costume yourself. Let's stop giving creative control to the costume manufacturers, who think that what is best for our children is to dress them up like little pimps and whores.