Christmas Blues? Think Again.

I wrote this piece a few years ago, but the sentiment has stood the test of time. It's worth another reminder:

This will be the first Christmas EVER without my daughters. When you get divorced and your children are split in two, you know this dreaded day will come eventually. It’s like April 15th in December. Looking back, I’ve been blessed with 12 wonder-filled Christmas mornings, over a decade of giddy dawns. It’s been magical. I’ve had a good run. But this year, it’s my ex’s turn to experience all that.

I’ll miss the little things: The frosted cookies on a plate with a note to Santa; the frenzied, last-minute gift-wrapping; getting up before dawn to wait by the lighted tree, hot tea in hand, camera at the ready; and then that Kodak moment, the look of pure joy, mouths forming perfect ‘O’s’ as my sleepy children get their first look at Santa’s handiwork.

Yes, I’ll be alone on Christmas morning. But woe is NOT me, for I have been given the gift of perspective; an epiphany that, like the symbolism of Christmas itself, has come in the form of a newborn baby. Her name is Emilie. She’s sweet and beautiful…and lying in the intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, tubes as long as she is coming out of her in every direction. Emilie was born with a defect that prompted surgery three days into her fragile life. Her parents – my neighbors – are, understandably, on pins and needles. While the prognosis is good, and there’s every reason to believe that Emilie will wake up Christmas morning in her own home, still . . . I worry. I pray. And I count my blessings.

Certainly, I’ll miss my kids on Christmas morning. But there are much bigger heartaches, one being played out just a few houses over. As divorced parents, we need to look at the overall picture. It really doesn’t matter which custodial parent’s home your children wake up in on December 25. What’s most important is that they are alive, in good health and loved year-round.

So what do I plan to do, all alone, on that calendar day we call “Christmas?” Something I don’t do often enough: RELAX. I’ll sleep in, enjoy a long, uninterrupted cup of tea (what is THAT?) while watching the twinkling lights of my tree and start a new book. I can hardly wait.

About mid-morning, when I know my kids have ripped into all those gifts at their dad’s house, I’ll call to say “Merry Christmas” and let them know a similar scenario awaits their return.

And more than a few times, I will glance through the window, toward my neighbors’ house and try to imagine the joy unfolding as Emilie celebrates her very first Christmas with a family so grateful to have her home.

Christmas is about celebrating the life of children. And thanks to one precious baby, I’ll be singing a different tune this year… “Four calling birds, three French hens, two healthy children and a heart filled with love and gratitude for my bounty year-round.”


Can anyone recommend a good book for Lynn Armitage to read on Christmas morning?

Happy Mother's Day!

I usually don't like chain e-mails -- jokes and videos and inspirational thoughts that have been around the Internet and back a zillion times. But every now and then, I get a jewel, like this one. And a timely jewel it is, too.

Happy Mother's Day to every woman who has stretch marks to prove it. Enjoy!



25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Were you raised in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

Cheers My Ass!

Image by crafterm via Flickr Miss me? I took nearly an entire month off from whining. Didn't want to dampen the holiday spirit. But my ex-husband did something so idiotic, that I have to blog about it. Over New Year's, he took my daughters to France for a ski weekend. I guess there is no drinking age in France. Children of any age can just walk into bars and order a tall one. On New Year's Eve, my ex celebrated his 50th birthday, and to christen the landmark occasion, he gave our 15-year-old permission to drink, too. Which she did. And she loved it.

Oh, great. Now I have to clean up the mess he made and explain to our daughter that as much fun as she had drinking in France, it is illegal over here for kids her age. I know that the old saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" translates easily into French. But as a parent, I think it is irresponsible to allow teenagers to drink alcohol anywhere in the world. Sends a confusing message to a very impressionable group of kids.

I can only hope that when she is invited to a party and is given the choice between a coke and a beer, she chooses "the real thing." Or she's going to get into some real trouble.

Related articles by Zemanta

• French Hooligans Burn 1,147 Cars To Celebrate New Year [News]

Hey, Let's Eat!

Image via Wikipedia Today, I’m not so mad. Sorry to disappoint you. How could I be in any other mood but a jolly one? Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the most glorified dinner of the year. People all over the country will be taking planes, trains and automobiles to sit at the table with loved ones – and those folks you have to put up with once a year.

Whatever your plans, I wish you a relaxing, warm and wonderful day. And don’t worry about eating too much. You have the whole year to work it off. Or you could just roll over the calories into the next holiday, like a Frequent Eater Program.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! Happy Thanksgiving!

Related articles by Zemanta

• Fire Departments Warn: Deep Fried Turkey is a hazard
• Thanksgiving: The scientific explanation
• Build a Turkey for Turkey Day